Monday, August 14, 2006

Non profitable Pharmacy

Kesian...
I guess the sales for this pharmacy is all time low.
We have now found the mystery behind it...
Just change the name of the shop, and hopefully business will boom soon.
Come on, use common sense lah.
We need some strategies..Cannot hentam keromo je...ok?

Tu la, lain kali, kalau nak bukak kedai, bagi la nama yang murah rezeki sikit..




Thursday, August 10, 2006

Loyar Buruk - Luckily aku tak jadik lawyer

Warning : These conversations may contains pure stoopidity or high level of sarcasm...
They're damn hillarious!!!

Again, got this from Fadli.....

From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." They're things
people actually said in court, word for word....

LAWYER: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's
vagina show?
WITNESS: There were traces of semen.
LAWYER: Male semen?
WITNESS: That's the only kind I know of.

LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
WITNESS: No.

LAWYER: So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it,
what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
WITNESS: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the
hospital.
LAWYER: It was covered?
WITNESS: Yes. Bandaged.
LAWYER: Then, later on, what did you see?
WITNESS: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were
removed and put on top of my head.

CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: That's right.
CLERK: Repeat it.
WITNESS: "Repeat it".
CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.
WITNESS: What you said when?
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give."
CLERK: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth
and..."
WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be
the truth and..."
WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."
CLERK: Say: "Nothing...".
WITNESS: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)
CLERK: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Well? Do so.
WITNESS: You're confusing me.
CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
CLERK: Yes.
WITNESS: Okay. I understand.
CLERK: Then say it.
WITNESS: What?
CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: But I do! That's just it.
CLERK: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But",
"The", "Truth".
WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?
CLERK: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
WITNESS: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
CLERK: Thank you.
WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.

LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the
farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the
duck pond?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And did you observe anything?
WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
WITNESS: I saw George.
LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?
WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
LAWYER: His "thing"?
WITNESS: You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis.
LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good,
you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this
clearly?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?
WITNESS: Of course I did!
LAWYER: What did you say to him?
WITNESS: "Morning, George

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the
voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and
blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the
collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?


Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an
autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising
law somewhere.

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

G M

What the heck is GM?
GM is not the notorious Geng Mamak nor it is the famous initial in the corporate world (General Manager)
GM in this blog is (introducing......) Geng Magnet..

Last Friday, before we had our Friday prayer at Bukit Aman mosque, we went for window shopping in Maju Junction.

We bumped into a stall which sells bangles that have magnetic wave that claim it could help to cure/prevent certain illnesses such as:

1. High Blood Pressure
2. Reduce stress
3. Reduce back ache
4. Reduce neck ache
5. Reduce stiff shoulders
6. Improve blood circulation
and many more..

Goofy was very interested as he has heard about it for quite some time. He and his talkative mouth, convinced us to grab the offer:
Sambil berbisik, "Murah siut, kat tempat lain tak dapat cam ni...kalau beli banyak boleh dapat banyak lagi" .
There's no persuasion involved from the salesgirl. All the way, it was Goofy who really looked excited. Luckily Goofy ni tak keja jadik salesman...

After some negotiations, (and of course loyar burok when Goofy is around), we made the decision to buy the bangle (we could get cheaper if we by more than 1)
So, Charlie, Goofy and I bought it. Zizou (tganu slang of Azizul), on the other hand was more interested with the zircon bangle..hehehe.....(but of course la he didn't buy, or is it NASIB BAIK he didn't buy)

Tomorrow, I will get the photo of three of us, wearing the bengal....
The photo of the................Geng Magnet .
For now, just FYI - My Magnetic Bangle



Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Math Genius

Got these from Fadli ...
Not sure whether these are genuine cases...
These are examples how math could lead to human creativity.
These students must have furthered their studies in Graphics/Arts school...hahaha..

Very the creative the one.....